the fig tree analogy: the misery of choice and my experience

Hey angels 💋

Have you ever wondered what you are going to do with your life? Will you be a poet? A doctor? An Actor? maybe a detective? Have you ever thought about it so much to the point your life has passed you by, this is exactly Sylvia Plath's worry in her fig tree analogy in her book 'The bell jar' 

In the metaphor the main character compares her life to that of a fig tree. As she sits beneath the fig tree she is starving, each fig representing a life she could live, a house wife, a famous poet, a professor, an editor, even an explorer going  places like Africa and Europe, but as she sits there contemplating which one to pick, the figs begin to rot and so does her chance to experience a single one. In her worry on which one to pick she ends up risking it all, leaving her to nothing but her regrets on the life she could've lived. 

When I first read the bell jar I cried upon reading this metaphor, everything I've felt about what I was going to do when I got older was all explained in this one paragraph. the misery of choice, the fact that when I pick one I will never be able to experience the other. The fact that I cant be everything I want to be all at once or will never be able to read every single book ever written or watch every movie ever made. 

Ever since reading that book I say I've thought about the fig tree every day of my life, it's never something that leaves my mind. Before then, I had never resonated with anything that I had read so much and it came as a shock of how well Plath had put my thoughts into beautiful images, created hours of thinking in my mind, and had affected me so deeply with just words. I had read many romance and young adult books before reading the bell jar but after reading it I truly began to read books that challenge my thinking and make me ponder an array of ideas, of course I still read a romance and fantasy book every now and again so I don't go insane, but my favourite books will always be the ones that truly never leave my head, and I still think about months or even years after reading. 

 since reading 'The bell jar' I have realised that there isn't anything that I can do to stop time from passing and that eventually I will need to choose a fig from my own tree, one that contains an artist, a journalist, a poet, a director, and a handful of other things that I have considered at one point at another, and although I think this fear will never leave my head, It's has gotten quieter, I've come to terms with the fact that what ever happens, happens and there is no way to change that. 

when I eventually pick a fig I hope I will grab it with two hands and bite right into it, letting the juice run down my chin. I hope I can watch the other figs rot with no regret because I am happy no matter what. 

So don't let your figs rot,

embrace them,

love them,

and bite into them whole heartedly.

Until next time....Xoxo